Thursday, December 13, 2012
Just last week, I was starting to feel comfortable in my job. I have a need for change and this need drives me crazy at work because I get stuck in ruts where I do the same thing over and over - and say the same thing over and over. There are lots of pockets of time when I get to work on a new project, but it is usually at the expense of my sanity. So, last week, I decided that I needed to settle the F down and just get into a rhythm. I needed to focus my time and stop putting in so many extra hours. I have 2 small children and I wanted to enjoy my evenings with them and then have time for myself when the kids went to bed. It was like a glorious epiphany! I didn't have to do it all right now and that I am still young with a long career ahead of me and I could chill the F out and ride for a bit. Then, it happened! I was in a meeting with my boss' boss (who put me in a charge of a committee that both my boss and I are on - yes, totally awkward) when we started talking about my long term career plans. In about 20 minutes, he was wanting to setup a lunch with one of the VPs to discuss moving me into a much more high-profile, high-responsibility job. This caused a very uncomfortable ripple effect that resulted in many uncomfortable conversations with my boss this week. See, my boss and I have a long 16-year history. She has known me since as a student before I became her colleague. She has been my supporter and advocate for years, but now, our relationship feels different. I'm feeling held back and while she says she is trying to "protect" me, I'm feeling... what? What am I feeling? I have no idea. So, the sleepless nights ensued this week and I am totally exhausted. I figured I would blog to try to get this off my chest. World, tell me, how do you deal with someone who you trusted and has been a mentor who suddenly seems like a stranger?