Thursday, December 13, 2012

Seriously, now?!

Just last week, I was starting to feel comfortable in my job. I have a need for change and this need drives me crazy at work because I get stuck in ruts where I do the same thing over and over - and say the same thing over and over. There are lots of pockets of time when I get to work on a new project, but it is usually at the expense of my sanity. So, last week, I decided that I needed to settle the F down and just get into a rhythm. I needed to focus my time and stop putting in so many extra hours. I have 2 small children and I wanted to enjoy my evenings with them and then have time for myself when the kids went to bed. It was like a glorious epiphany! I didn't have to do it all right now and that I am still young with a long career ahead of me and I could chill the F out and ride for a bit. Then, it happened! I was in a meeting with my boss' boss (who put me in a charge of a committee that both my boss and I are on - yes, totally awkward) when we started talking about my long term career plans. In about 20 minutes, he was wanting to setup a lunch with one of the VPs to discuss moving me into a much more high-profile, high-responsibility job. This caused a very uncomfortable ripple effect that resulted in many uncomfortable conversations with my boss this week. See, my boss and I have a long 16-year history. She has known me since as a student before I became her colleague. She has been my supporter and advocate for years, but now, our relationship feels different. I'm feeling held back and while she says she is trying to "protect" me, I'm feeling... what? What am I feeling? I have no idea. So, the sleepless nights ensued this week and I am totally exhausted. I figured I would blog to try to get this off my chest. World, tell me, how do you deal with someone who you trusted and has been a mentor who suddenly seems like a stranger?

Friday, December 7, 2012

So Excited!

I'm so excited! My bestie (who looks more like my sister than my blood sister) and I are picking back up on our annual tradition of seeing Alvin Ailey (if u don't know about Alvin Ailey I strongly encourage you to stop reading my boring ads blog and Google it and watch videos). If I weren't working in academia, I'd be a chef and I weren't doing that, then I'd be an Alvin Ailey dancer. So excited!!!!!
On another note, I took a rest day from running. I put in 6miles yesterday because my wonderful son woke me at 5:20am and since my husband is home with kids on Thursdays, I got my butt out of bed and went to the gym. So, I rested today. I did well in the food department. Egg sandwich for breakfast(5 points), veggie stuffed pepper for lunch (5 points), fiber one brownie for snack (2 points), chicken stir fry with whole wheat couscous for dinner (8 points) and DunkinDonuts red velvet munchkin for dessert (2points). I'm trying to be extra conservative with points bc part of tradition described above is visit to Crumbs bakery!!!!
Ok, I'm done for now. typing blog on Kindle sucks!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Almost Two Years

It's almost two years since I last posted! I started this blog wanting to put my thoughts out into the world and give my mind some room to "run." I needed a place to reflect on life and hold myself accountable. Well, life got in the way... so here is what happened. The day after my last post, I took a pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE! I was so excited. We were trying for over a year. I already had an appointment with the OB/GYN to test for "problems" because that is what she said they do after a couple tries for a year - even if they have previously conceived (and as you can see from my earlier posts, I have a toddler). I loved this OB/GYN practice. They were awesome when I was pregnant with my son and I had continue to see them for annual visits. So, I took my excited self to my trusty OB/GYN only to have one of the doctors who I had never seen before (big practice, lots of docs) tell me that I am probably having a missed-miscarriage because ultrasound didn't show a viable pregnancy. He was telling me this as he was holding me under my arm and escorting me out of the practice. I cried all the way to work and my amazing colleague told me to get a second opinion ASAP and gave me the number of her doc who saw me the next day. He assured me that no one can diagnosis a missed-miscarriage and that there is indication of a viable pregnancy and to just wait. To fast-forward, the pregnancy was viable and my daughter just turned 1 a few months ago! My heart goes out to all the women (and men) who have miscarried and lost sweet little angels. The 2 weeks in between my follow up and getting to a point where they could actually see a viable pregnancy were pure agony. Children are amazing, but they are little time suckers! Hence, the year in blog hiatus. I've been consistently running since I got the "all clear" at 6 weeks postpartum. I've even improved my speed to 11:45 minute/mile. I also joined Weight Watchers in September and it is freaking awesome! I am now the lightest and healthiest I've ever been in my adult life! Since September, I have lost 15lbs. I'm going to start posting more on here about WW and get some pics up of my recipes. So, that is the update for now. As we are nearing another New Year's, how would your year-in-review look? As you reflect on 2012, what are you most proud of and what would you have rather not gone through?