We're approaching the New Year (2011) and I need to get a grip! Seriously, I am a 32-year old women with an amazing 2 year old son, loving husband, insane family, amazing friends and awesome career. On paper, I have a pretty great life. But, the reality of my life is not picture perfect. I often find my mind racing and constantly questioning myself - what am I doing? what's next? how did I get here? am I really happy? what does it mean to be happy? and on and on and on... I know a lot of my unhappiness stems from my not so perfect childhood, but seriously, who has had a perfect childhood? My past experiences have made me who I am today and usually, I am grateful for that. Still, there is that constant nagging - what do I want out of life? am I in the right place? Ahhh, the typical existential crisis that hits many of us.
When I was having a bigger-than-normal existential crisis in 2006, I started "running" to take on a challenge. Really, what I was doing was trying to focus on something other than what was going on in my life. I place "running" in quotes because I had not run a single block ever in my life when I decided that I was going to train for a half-marathon. Now, you're probably thinking, why the hell a half-marathon when you've never run before? Well, as you get to know me you'll realize that I like to aim high - not because I am an overachiever, but because I don't really think things totally through and if I set outrageous goals then I'll just focus on getting there and not on whether or not I really want to achieve the goal in the first place.
I also use the quotes because I don't consider myself a runner (even though I did train and run that half-marathon and have run a bunch of 5Ks). I run at a 13-minute mile pace, which I didn't know was actually running until I Googled it before starting this blog. I just finished running (2.5mi in 31min) and it dawned on me... this is MY life. I need to get a grip and start thinking before acting. Seriously, I don't want to spend another day doing something because I think I SHOULD be doing it or because I'm competing with someone ( I have a nasty competitive spirit).
With all that said, I decided to start this blog so that I force myself to put my thoughts out there - hoping that reading my thoughts will be therapeutic and allow for me to think before I act. I also hope to follow others who are in the same third-life crisis phase (is there anyone out there?). Lastly, I want to be proud of my 13-minute mile pace and run for me and not as a competition. I will not focus on getting faster or going further unless I feel like it :) That makes for a great New Year's resolution... I'll think more on that and aim to make a Resolution post in the coming days. Until then, I'll take my sorry butt into the kitchen and start working on dinner (homemade whole wheat pizza).
Okay - I had to chime in here! You run. Therefore, you are a runner. I quilt, so I am a quilter. I am slow, and I stick to easy patterns, but nobody in the quilting world gives me a hard time about it or tells me I can't call myself a quilter. You are a runner. Your pace varies - over time, if you want it to, it will probably get faster. Even if it doesn't, you are still a runner because you run. Anyone who says otherwise can bite our collective sweaty runner butts. So there!
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